As of now I do not enjoy my work, I treat it as a JOB already. Every morning its like I'm dragging my feet to work. Back then even though I only have a couple of hours sleep and still a li'l tipsy because of the alcohol I guzzled the previous night, I literally sprang from bed and I have the energy for the whole day's work till the wee hours when I'm with friends. But now even if I have a complete 6-8 hours of sleep and no alcohol it seems it's a task going to work. And when I'm at work nowadays sometimes I feel it's okay to be late or be under time just to leave the hell hole.
Yah, I hate my work now. It's because I feel being used as "someone" to fill a void. "Pamasak butas ika nga." They hire me, yes to accomplish a task. It's okay. They hired me as Instructor but I'll do a librarian's work,it's okay for the fact that before signing the contract I made clear that if the position for librarian is vacant I shall resign my post and apply for that post, they said yes and I signed the contract. They even asked me if it is monetary, I said partly. In my mind I said a 5k difference in salary and the status of a regular employee does mean a lot. But the reason why I hate my job is not all about money.
I love being a librarian. But designating you as Instructor and do librarian's work, it's something against my heart. They need a librarian why don't they hire a librarian. They need a librarian for the accreditation and ISO that's it then they should hire one. May I remind them that:
"R.A. no. 9246 SECTION 31. Employment of Librarians. – Only qualified and licensed librarians shall be employed as librarians in all government libraries. Local government units shall be given a period of three (3) years from the approval of this Act to comply with this provision."
Yes they call me as the librarian but in papers I am not employed as one. So technically speaking there is no librarian.
If they read this and said "You're fuming only because of that!" I'll reply "Yes and it means a lot to me."
I'm now stressed, I lost my appetite, and I get tired fast. My backpains are back and not to mention I'm acidic again. It is really taking a toll on me.
The other day in the admin building when I signed my DTR they asked me why I am absent I lied and told them I was sick. But when they asked again in a insinuating tone I just faced the clerk nearest to me and told her in a low voice that "I just don't want to go to work!" then I stormed out of the office teary eyed. Maybe they thought it was regarding the problem with One3 is the reason I'm not reporting to work. Fark! I seperate my work and personal affairs.
I don't know if it is fate, the moment I was out of the office One3 texted me that he was outside with a friend. I passed him and I directly went to the waiting shed and texted him that I'm feeling bad. He followed me and the rest is mine to know. :P
If I wanted to become a teacher I could just choose education as my course (believe me it is the last thing on my mind) before entering college as I can easily choose non-quota courses. But my love for books prevailed that's why I am now a professional librarian.